Rafael Cardoso reports struggle with addiction after hospitalization: 'I thought I was going to die alone'

"It was the first time in my life that I really went into recovery. Before I was just sober. Today I'm in recovery," he told journalist Roberto Cabrini.

During the conversation, Cardoso said that he decided to seek help after realizing that he had reached his limit. According to him, a new relapse made his thoughts become increasingly dark. "Emotional loss, drug use, drinking. When I was alone, my thoughts were getting dark. I really planned everything. I said: 'Man, that's enough, I don't want any more'", he said.

The actor also admitted that he returned to using drugs believing he could control the situation. "I used it a few times. I believed I could control it. If I just drink one beer, it's no problem. After using it, after relapsing, I don't think about anything anymore."

When remembering the most difficult period of addiction, Rafael described the loss of self-esteem and his own identity. "It's you losing everything, your dignity, losing your awareness of who you are. Because when I looked in the mirror, I saw a monster. I looked in the mirror and I didn't recognize myself."

Today, he states that honesty with oneself is the main foundation of recovery. "I'm proud of myself. Proud because the pillar of my recovery is honesty. If I'm dishonest with myself, it's over. I thought I would die alone, lose the respect of my children. I had already lost respect for myself."

The actor also detailed what the 45 days of hospitalization were like. According to him, despite not suffering intense physical symptoms of withdrawal, the emotional impact was great, mainly due to the distance from his family.

"The hardest thing is not having contact with the family, which is hypocritical. When I was abroad, I had no contact with the family because I isolated myself", he said. In the first few days, he said he dreamed about drugs and needed help to get through the most delicate period. "I lost it to the disease. I became self-sufficient, I believed I could get out on my own."

In the interview, Rafael also discussed his relationship with his ex-wife, Mari Bridi, and his ex-mother-in-law, journalist Sônia Bridi. The three were at the center of a series of public conflicts after the end of their 15-year marriage, marked by legal disputes involving custody of their children, Aurora and Valentim, in addition to the granting of protective measures amid allegations of domestic violence.

The actor stated that he sought out the two to ask for forgiveness and thanked them for their attempts to convince him to seek treatment. "I am very grateful, from the bottom of my soul, for everything they tried to do for me and I couldn't see it. They suggested to me a few times that I go into hospital. They had already seen that I couldn't do it alone."

The decision to seek help came a few days after a relapse that gained public attention. In June, during a charity event to promote the film "Sex and Destiny", in Volta Redonda (RJ), Rafael drew attention because, according to reports from people present, he appeared to be drunk and ended up not participating in the planned program.

In July, while he was still hospitalized, he published an open letter on social media in which he acknowledged the seriousness of drug addiction. "I had lost control of my life. The only one I didn't see was myself," he wrote.