How to identify signs that teens are being coerced online and start a dialogue without intimidating

According to a police investigation, the girl had been induced by a group to self-harm. She lived in Naviraí, a municipality 355 kilometers from Campo Grande (MS). The state's Civil Police carried out seven court warrants, six for search and seizure against teenagers and one for the arrest of an adult, in five states, and identified at least one second victim. After the episode, the ANPD (National Data Protection Agency) ordered the suspension of Discord live broadcasts in the country.

The term suicide should not be used automatically in cases of serious coercion, to the point of erasing the participation of those who threatened, coerced or led the victim into an extreme situation, says Karen Scavacini, doctor in psychology and founder of the Vita Alere Institute, for suicide prevention and postvention, in São Paulo (SP).

Although the act may have been carried out by the victim herself, a causal process strongly determined by third parties changes the clinical assessment, protective measures and understanding of what happened, according to her. The legal classification of a specific case, he considers, is up to the investigation.

For psychologist Juliana Prates, professor at UFBA (Federal University of Bahia) and doctor in child studies, the difference changes the way parents and guardians should recognize warning signs and conduct dialogue with their children.

An abrupt drop in grades, greater than expected isolation in adolescence, loss of interest in activities that previously gave pleasure and the habit of hiding the screen or turning off the computer when interrupted are signs that deserve attention, says Prates. For her, what differentiates these signs from the typical behavior of the phase is the speed of change.

Scavacini adds a more specific set associated with coercion: anxiety or panic when faced with messages, fear of a specific person or group, need to respond immediately to notifications, waking up in the early hours of the morning to meet someone, deleting conversations repeatedly, changing platforms frequently, asking for money without justification and demonstrating terror at the possibility of an image or video being released.

It is not necessary to have depression, anxiety or a history of previous suicidal behavior for a situation of severe coercion to provoke an acute crisis, says Scavacini. She warns of the tendency, after a death, to retroactively look for a mental illness that explains everything, which can minimize the weight of the violence suffered.

HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION

A common mistake made by families, according to the two experts, is to react with alarmist speech or accusations.

Prates cites the tendency to say that, if the child uses a certain network, “a tragedy will happen”, an argument that the teenager refutes in practice when he sees his colleagues using it without problems.

Scavacini warns against phrases like “I told you this was going to happen” or the immediate ban on cell phones, which can make the child shut down at the moment when they most need to talk.

"I noticed something is happening and I'm worried about you. You don't need to tell me everything at once, but if someone is threatening you or making you feel afraid, I want to help", suggests Scavacini as a way to start the conversation.

For her, the Discord case itself can serve as a reason to start the subject at home, as most teenagers have probably already heard about it from a colleague or online. The ideal is to first ask what the child already knows or has heard and, only then, move on to find out if something similar has happened to him.

A prior agreement that asking for secrecy is always a bad sign and that parents will help before punishing takes away one of the coercer's main weapons: convincing the victim that telling them will only make the situation worse, say the two psychologists.

HOW TO CONTROL THE USE OF SOCIAL MEDIA

Regarding restricting access to networks, Prates argues that the answer should not just be technical surveillance. It is up to families to offer collective leisure alternatives and maintain a constant dialogue about what circulates in these spaces.

Scavacini considers that parental control helps, especially with younger children, but it is “just one layer” of protection. For her, holding only families responsible is a mistake, as parents cannot supervise all digital environments at all times.

The expert states that platforms also need to identify patterns of grooming, threats and blackmail and create effective reporting channels. ECA Digital, sanctioned in 2025, holds platforms responsible for preventing risks to minors.

If there is an immediate risk to life, adults need to act, interrupting contacts and activating the protection network, but in such a way that the teenager understands that the measure is against the violence suffered, and not against him, says Scavacini.

SEE WHERE TO FIND HELP

CVV (Center for the Valuation of Life)

Provides voluntary and free emotional support and suicide prevention services to all people who want and need to talk, under complete confidentiality and anonymity, via the website and by telephone 188.

cvv.org.br

Vita Alere Institute for Suicide Prevention and Postvention

It offers support groups for the bereaved and family members of people with suicidal ideation, informative booklets on prevention and postvention and courses for professionals.

vitaalere.com.br

Abrases (Brazilian Association of Survivors Bereaved by Suicide)

It provides informative materials, such as booklets and e-books, and recommends support groups in all regions of the country.

abrases.org.br

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